you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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