How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
