and she was petting her beer can
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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