first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
