Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
