when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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