Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The best revenge is premature balding
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Randomize
