There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
