I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
