The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
