bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
