Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
