i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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