You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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