the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
