Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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