ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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