Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
