The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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