have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
