Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my shit smells like andre
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
