I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
