11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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