when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
