Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
