wat bout pragnant strippers??
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
