Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
