I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
