She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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