That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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