it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
