i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
