but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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