Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
