whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
