As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
