you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
