Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
