i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
