i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
