I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
