Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
