I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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