Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
