well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
