We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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