We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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