Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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