ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
