): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
