I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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