whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
