hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
