Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
